A Different Evil
by Banana Sam
Summary: A Different evil, a new character joins the group, and..... THERE'S A DIFFERENT EVIL from the game. Hooray! [Chapter 3 is officially uploaded, it's just that both Chapters 2 & 3 haven't appeared yet]
1. The Scottish Are Coming!

DISCLAIMER:: I don't own the Final Fantasy games. None of them. Squaresoft and some other companies do. (Sorry other companies, at least you get some credit.) I do not own any of the characters shown in this fanfic. Squaresoft and some other companies do::  
  
*The whole FF9 "crew" is on the Blue Narciss (the airship, not the boat), flying to get everyone seeing as the party was somehow separated. (Don't ask me why.)*  
  
Zidane: Erin, could this thing possibly go any slower?! We're only going 12 mph, I'm surprised we haven't landed yet!!  
  
*Blue Narciss crashes into Evil Forest*  
  
Erin: Ye jinxed it ye fool! I'm Scottish no, ye understend?!  
  
Zidane: *Gets up after suffering severe head injuries from the crash.* Sweet Jesus, what happened to you.? WHO are you anyways...?  
  
Erin: Ye dun't remember mah? Yer' a strenge one...  
  
Zidane: What's that supposed to mean?! You're the scottish lady!  
  
*Eiko runs onto the ship at this time, dressed like a black street dancer.*  
  
Eiko: Yo, Zidane! 'Sup Erin!  
  
Zidane: What the.? Who the hell are you?! Why are you on this airship?!  
  
Erin: Zidanee, ye know this i' Eiko. She likes ye, ye knoo.  
  
Eiko: I do not, yo foo! Zidane, you know that, yo?  
  
Zidane: What the.? What is wrong with you people?! Get the hell away from me!! AAAHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Eiko: What the cheese happened to you?! Why don't you remember mah?! PUH- LEEEEAAASE tell me you know who I am.?  
  
Zidane: *curled up in a ball in a corner of the airship* I don't know who you are, but you better stay away from me!! I could maybe just sorta beat ya' up ya' know.!  
  
Eiko: *In deep black man voice* The name's "D". You don't go forgettin' that too, yo' foo'!  
  
*Eiko,.I mean "D" rips off the steering wheel of the ship and runs over to Zidane*  
  
Eiko: Maybe another head injury.*lifts heavy steering wheel over her head*.will fix you up good, ya' know what I'm sayin', Yo' foo'!  
  
*"D" slams the steering wheel down on and already whimpering Zidane*  
  
Erin: Ye ken teke or' steerin' wheles, boot ye ken nevrr teke or' freedem!! AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHaHAAHAhAhAHAHAHAhAhAHHAhAH!??!.  
  
D: You still alive foo'? If y'are, can ya' remember mah?  
  
Zidane: *Rubs his head* Ouchies, why'd you go and do that Eiko.?  
  
D: YEEEEEEEEHAW!! You be alive, and better yet, you remember me!! Oh, and ya' better not call me Eiko anymore, 'cuz I got the papers that say mah name's officially "D".  
  
*D shows Zidane a 15 foot tall stack o' papers*  
  
Erin: .AHhHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHhAhAHAhhAhAHHAHAhAhAHAAHAHAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!? Swete Jeeses! Thet's elot o' wasted trees. AHDHdAJAJAHAHAJAKAhaHADhkAAHskdhhhhhhhhhSuhIFHDAShdflkHSfeuFNNELI73LJKHSrh83 !!?!  
  
Zidane: This is really odd. *whispers to D* I think that after we get to the next possible city, we've got to replace her. I do NOT feel safe with her flyin' this.  
  
D: I know what you're sayin' Zidane. She gonna kill us all. So I take it we're going to Alexandria?  
  
Zidane: Yup. *Yells to Erin* ERIN!! TAKE US TO ALEXANDRIA!!  
  
*Zidane was actually standing three feet away from Erin, and she 's deaf now.* ^_^  
  
Erin: Ah noo thet ye idiot!! Bah thee wey, we nede a sterin' whele!!! Er ElzE Ah CeN't flah TheS StooPiD ThiNg!?  
  
D: Holy crap, she's goin' haywire.!  
  
Zidane: *Sweatdrops* Help me, God.  
  
Erin: EH! Ah knoo whet we cud use fer' a sterein' whele! YoU!?  
  
*Erin pointed at D*  
  
D: Fine. WAAAAAAHHHHH!! I-I mean what you talkin' 'bout Erin?! Yo' Foo!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------- 


	2. Treno, Dragon fights, and Quina

Chapter 2 *After a long, turbulent fight, Zidane, D, and Erin arrive in...* Zidane: What the hell?! We're in Treno! You are soooooooo being replaced... D: Ooh! Looks like there's a party going on!! Erin: Whet ye talken' aboot? Thar ain't no perty! D: Doo doo doo... Party party... Doo doo doo... La la la la LAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaa *gasp* aaaaaa!! Zidane: Okee-dokee then. I think we should take a look around. *He looks around to see who would come, only to find Erin yelling at "D" that there's no party, and D's standing there singing Doo doo doo... Party party... Doo doo doo...* Zidane: .Then again, I think I'll go by myself. *Zidane walks away from the two, who are totally oblivious to the fact that Zidane just left them.* *Zidane walks into the weapons shop, taking a quick look inside.* Zidane: You got any new weapons? Shopkeeper: No not lately, but look below, we got a show goin' on. *Zidane looks down past the cage floor to find Quina and Freya fighting 4 Grand Dragons.* Freya: DIE! Quina: I eat you!! Zidane: Good god, they're gonna get killed! *Calls to shopkeeper* You got any popcorn? Shopkeeper: Yeah! *The shopkeeper tosses him a bag* Zidane: *crunch crunch* Mmm. Hey all four of the Grand Dragons are using Thundaga! Freya & Quina: AAAAHHHHHH!!! Run run run run run... *After they do not escape ^_^, Zidane walks over to their scorched bodies* Zidane: Hey guys, what's up...? Heh heh... Quina: What you think?! Freya: Um... Why are you here Zidane? Zidane: What you think?! I looking for you! Quina: HEY! My bad grammar, not yours! Freya: Haha... Quina: Why you laugh?! I EAT YOU!! *Quina then proceeds to eat Freya whole* Zidane: GOOD GOD! QUINA!! Quina: You want me eat you too?! Zidane: No...*Whimpers* *Quina and Zidane then return to the ship, and find D and Erin are still, uh..., being D and Erin.* Zidane:*Whispers in D's ear* Get on the ship...We're gonna leave without her... D: AAHhAHAHAHAHAhAhAhAhAhAHAHAhAHAHAh!! Good plan!! *They all (except Erin) get on the ship* Zidane: Hey you! *Zidane points to a crew member* Can you fly this thing? Crew Member: Why yes, yes I can. And my name's not "boy", "scumbag", or "Cheese Bucket", it's Eric. Zidane: But I didn't call you any of those things... Oh well, Eric? Eric: Yes? Zidane: Take us to Conde Petie! Eric: Okee-dokee! *They then lift off, supposedly leaving Erin behind* ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- 


	3. Explosions, Wackos, and... ME!

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER:: I do not own any of the Final Fantasy games or characters, Squaresoft does. I do, however, own Spike (See for yourself). HE BE MINE!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha...ehh. Read the story, fool! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------- Chapter 3 *Zidane, Eric, D, and Quina are all on the Blue Narciss, flying to Conde Petie to find their party.* Zidane: *whines* Are we there yet? Eric: Why no. No we aren't. *Two figures walk up behind the group very quietly* Freya & Erin: Hey y'all! D: AHHHHHHH!! How the hell you get here?! Yo' foo'! Quina: Hey! I eated you! Why you outside? Erin: Tryin' te replace me, EHHH?! Yer' gonna pay fer this one! Eric: Noo! I wanna drive the ship! NOOOOO! Get away from meeeee!! Erin: *takes out a club* Now do ye wahnt to dreve the sheep?! Eric: AHHHHH!! *Takes out an acoustic guitar* EL KABONG!! *The beat each other savagely over the head until the both fall to the ground, unconscious .* Freya: What a show! D: Wait a second... Zidane: ...If they're there... Freya: THEN WHO'S DRIVING THE SHIP?! Quina: Bum bum bummmmm... *As soon as they realize this, the ship veers straight down and crashes into...* Voice: U-um, hey are you a-alright? D: Whoa, that one hurt. *Cracks her neck* Ow... Zidane: I know that voice... Freya: Vivi! Different Voice (creative, aren't we...): Zidane, you woldn't happen to know where the princess might be, would you? Quina: Steiner? You have frog? Steiner: YEAH! IV'E GOT A FROG FOR YA!! *slaps him/her across the face with a frog* Quina: Why, thank you, Steinsadkerhreesdkjr? * Quina then passes out on the floor* Steiner: AAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! I am now the supreme ruler of ALL OF YOU!! AHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!! Vivi: Shut up! Steiner: Yes, Master. D: Dude, this is odd.... Zidane: Where are we anyway? Vivi: Black Mage Village, where else would I be? *Suddenly, the airship explodes. After a good night at the inn, everyone is healed*(Wow! One night!) ~-~-~-~~-~-~-~The next morning~-~-~-~~-~-~-~ Zidane: I'm going to go out and fight some monsters. Be back by lunchtime! Everyone else: Okay! ^_^ *Zidane goes up by Conde Petie to fight in the forests to hopefully find some friendly mosters. He obviously gets into a battle. There is a man standing there in all black* Man: Ooh, I'm like Yuffie! The old "encounter in the forest thing". Ha! Zidane: What are you talking about? Man: Nevermind. I'll just... *the Man begins to glow pink.* Zidane: AHHH! He's in Trance! Man: Mwahahahahaha!! Ultima! *The man then proceeds to thoroughly beat Zidane* Zidane: Man, you be strong. What you name? What tree name? AHaHAAhAHAHAhAHAhAkualaAyGAKsALSOA:osAsADsaASKsn!! Man: Okee-dokee then... My name's Banana Sam (I'm in the story!), but my friends call me Spike. Zidane: You come us will with? Talk me no straight. Help can me you? To me Village Black inn Mage the take in the. Please? ~-~-~-~(He says: Will you come with us? Me no talk straight. Can you help me? Take me to the inn in the Black Mage Village. Please?: Just in case you hadn't figured it out.) ~-~-~-~ Spike: Yeah... sure. Whatever you said. *Looks at the notice on the line above* Oh... Yeah, sure. *A motorcycle then falls from the sky, and Spike and Zidane get on and go back to the Black Mage Village.* Everyone: Hi! Who are you? Spike: I'm Spike. The author. Everyone: WHAAAAAT?! Spike: Oops, I mean, who's your mother....? Everyone: Oh! My mother is... Spike: I don't need to know! Thank you! *Then the group rents an airship from Rent-an-Airship , and proceed to their next destination, seeing as Erin & Eric both woke up some time in this part of the chapter. What will their next destination be?* ~-~-~-~~-~-~-~~-~-~-~~-~-~-~~-~-~-~~-~-~-~ 


End file.
